I have been thinking about the differences between lifestyle and professional Domination a lot lately. My puppy, whom I’ve mentioned in various posts was my first and only pro client with whom I pursued a personal relationship with. (There are some professional-lifestyle crossovers but never to this degree.) So, my puppy… I will not sit here and describe the evolution of the relationship, you can find a few posts relating to the subject. The interactions between us were nothing if not intense. His need for me was almost palpable even with the long distance thing working against us.
This lasted years. Then suddenly communications between ceased completely. No phone calls, no messages, no emails, no tributes. Nothing. The silence came out of no where and continued for a rather long period of time. A brief rekindling, and then the same silence. Recently, we were in touch again. I voiced my issue with the silence.
I don’t have problems with my slaves needing time to themselves, needing a break. I get it. I really truly do. And from a professional point of view, it is even expected. I am expensive, sometimes that requires a break. But this was someone with whom I had a personal relationship. Yes, it was still a D/s relationship. He was not my lover, nor my partner but he was mine. The abrupt dismissal of our relationship pained me to a certain extent. The disposal of something that took years to create was hurtful. I am not losing too much sleep over it at this point, I just want to paint the proper picture.
Then it happened again. This happened after I explained that this behaviour is hurtful. It hurts not because of the loss of my puppy, it hurts because he made me feel disposable and that I have always been a professional Domme in his mind. Never a person, an individual as well. This is something I expect (but try to destroy as it is not healthy for anyone) from a paying client. From someone who pays me at a per minute rate. And even then, I get pissy about radio silence. So easy to just send out an email, a phone call, a message, a text, etc.
So I was and am exceptional pissed off by my puppy’s behaviour. This is the last time that will happen. If he wants to pursue a professional relationship, that could be arranged but things will never be the same.
À bientôt,
Ambre Jade
When it comes to finding the right Domme, there can be numerous challenges. I am well aware that I am not the right Domme for everyone, and I would not want to be either. That would diminish the relationships I already have. Sure I will do Female Domination calls with you, but that would not necessarily make you Mine. I digress. Finding the right Domme is a huge challenge for many men. There are a ton of reasons, the main one being a FemDomme is like a fucking unicorn hiding in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow on the top of Everest. Female Dominants are rare within the BDSM community. Well not necessarily rare but there are far fewer Female Dominants than there are male submissives or switches. Looking beyond the fact that this dynamic pleases Me because this automatically puts Me in a position of power even before we are introduced, it is a problem from the other side. For you, the boy, boi, male, sub, subject, puppy, etc. that is finding the right Domme.
For some, there is an erotic component to feeling guilty. They find the sensations of guilt and failure something that adds to their sensual experiences. For them, guilt and submission adds a spice, a further deepening to their orgasm, servitude, faith, etc. My puppy, whom I have spoken about numerous times, loves feeling guilty. OK, no he does not but his arousal (My cock, it is Mine, I own it) responds to it like nothing else. I delight in every moment where his guilt becomes overwhelming and then deny him that orgasm he has been waiting over a year for!