Domme Thought Archives - Page 6 of 7

Day 4: The Lover Who Believes in Monogamy

June 4, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

I have never believed in monogamy. It was never something I sought out nor something I idolized. I have no intentions of ever getting married, never have. I remember in my youth when other girls my age were playing wedding, I was out kicking boys in the junk (a Domme, I have always been). No dreams of white dresses or rings upon my fingers. I have been proposed to more than once. Each time, a well rehearsed refusal poured out of my lips before they had even finished getting down on one knee. I could always tell when someone was about to propose. I get it, I do. I am an amazing woman. Many people look at me and see a future. Sadly, it is not a shared vision. Their hearts get broken and then I usually lose them as a lover. Hard to get over your proposal being refused. Anyway, enough about marriage.

This is about monogamy. The idea of one individual being responsible for all my needs as a woman, seems so wrong to me. I know that is over simplifying the idea of monogamy but that is the basics as far as I see. And I am digressing again. SO monogamy, not something I ever saw myself doing or even wanting to do. One person? Just no.

060415 That being said, my lover is making noise about becoming monogamous, which is kind of hilarious for a different reason that is not my place to discuss. The interesting part about this, for the first time in my entire life I am actually considering such a relationship. Discussions have been had and I get to keep my subs, makes cuckolding far more fun. Beyond that, there is part of me that is perfectly comfortable with not finding more or new sex partners. My guy keeps me very satisfied. So am I accepting this voyage into monogamy because I am sated? Or am I actually more into this monogamy thing than I thought?

I suppose like with anything else it depends on the dynamic, of the people involved. Right now I am happy. Lucky him.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Day 3: My Loose Morals and I

June 3, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought1 Comment

It has recently come to my attention that certain people in my vanilla life have a morality issue with me. This concept is hilarious because these particular individuals have absolutely no idea how truly scruple-less I can be. They are unaware of my profession, completely oblivious to my relationships and in the dark about my deeper, darker fetishes. So how is it that they have a moral objection to me?

I genuinely have no idea. I also have no idea why this bothers me. It shouldn’t. They are obviously not a huge part of my life and they, themselves are kind of shitty people. They live their life with notes of racist behaviours and thoughts. A deep contempt for just about everyone who is not them. These individuals should not bother me. The idea that someone has a moral objection to me does not usually bother me. As a sex worker and someone who is pretty open about their sex life as well as someone who lives life against the grain of traditional society, it is not something new for me to be judged. People don’t necessarily understand me or my lifestyle. These women though, a mother and daughter duo that know very little about my life beyond my being a single parent and the fact that my son is mixed.

These women have the nerve to object to me morally for those things? I really do not understand it. There must be some crazy mixed in there somewhere. And now that I have vented, I am not as bothered, I think it just needed to come out…

And those are my Domme Thoughts of the day, rambly though they may be 😉

Oh and as promised yesterday:

20150603_114127 — My lovely breasts in my new bra 🙂

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Day 2: Sexy New Bras

June 2, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

Finally, they came in. Last week or was it the week before? Anyway, not important. I went into my local bra shop, one that specializes in larger breasts, and had my measurements done. My body has been fluctuating so often with my karate practices and workouts. It was finally time to remeasure. Measurements completed and sizing all taken care off, unfortunately, I had to order my new bras. One was in stock but the other two I wanted needed to be ordered since I want the colours I want and I get what I want.

It’s a hard life sometimes 😉

Pictures to come!

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Day 1: Celebrating My Birthday

June 1, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

I have never been too enthusiastic about celebrating my birthday. From a really young age, it was never a very big deal. This weekend was no exception. My mother had surgery on Friday, filling my weekend with hospital visits and trying to keep her in good spirits. It is her birthing weekend celebrations as well and I believe that our mother’s should be celebrated for such things, regardless of what kind of relationship the two of you have, they brought you into this world and those moments should celebrated and they should be in your thoughts.

My celebrations on this day will consist of being worshiped (which is always wonderful), lunch with some friends, karate with my boy and a visit with some tasty dessert with my mother. It seems like a perfect celebration, other than the venue for my visit with mom.

Enjoy this day of celebration with me!

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

30 Days of Domme Thoughts

May 31, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

I am challenging myself to post, capture, share, link, quote, etc. something every single day for the next thirty days! 30 Days of Domme Thoughts. My mind is constantly working, there are numerous thoughts that come and go. It is intense. There is always something to say, something to do, something to take pictures of! Say taking advantage of my wonderful Domme life and letting you in a little bit, lucky you 😉

Get a glimpse of my Goddess life and lifestyle, a touch of my personal life and tidbits from my everyday existence.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Conversations on BDSM

February 13, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

With the fucking joke BDSM “themed” piece of shit book and what I am assuming will also be a shitty film, 50 Shades of Grey gaining so much popularity, it is impossible to have a casual conversation without BDSM coming up. Now, I live a life where the majority of the people within my social circle are either proponents of the BDSM lifestyle, live the lifestyle or at least grasp the basic understanding of the D/s relationship. I am not about to write about the book or the film, I read the book, so I could but there is already quality information on the subject and I really do not feel like getting into it. I have seen enough on the subject and read enough on the subject. What I am enjoying though is the casual conversations that bring up BDSM.

I feel that all of us who are proponents of the D/s lifestyle should take advantage of the casual conversations about the film and the book, to really properly explain what BDSM is and how it is not properly reflected within the book. Communication is important and now with the line of communication open we should be taking advantage and advocate for safe, sane and consensual play (which is not well represented in the books).

My mother and I had a conversation on BDSM, D/s, and just sexual relationships in general this morning. My mother and I talk very freely with each other about sexuality, even our own personal sexual experience. My mother, who is not into BDSM, understands the principles and the teachings of SSC (safe, sane and consensual) and finds the whole lifestyle intriguing. We have had several conversations on BDSM. She knows that I both profit from (as a pro Domme) and live this lifestyle. She accepts it and defends my lifestyle choices with relatives and the like, a discussion for another time.

This morning we talked about the abusive nature of 50 Shades and how dangerous this is to those new to the lifestyle. Without the proper knowledge, people can get hurt. Abuse and power exchange can look very similar when you do not have the experience, the knowledge and the sometimes common sense understanding of a proper D/s relationship. We, as in those of us with the knowledge and/or experience should feel morally, ethically obligated to open the dialogue and have conversations on BDSM. Not just among our peers. Not just with people who have the same fundamental values but with those wanting to explore the lifestyle or those who are interested in pursuing their lustful thoughts into that direction.

So let’s as a community take advantage of the current pop culture BDSM bullshit and have conversations on BDSM, real BDSM and you never know, we might be the difference between someone experiencing abuse and someone empowering themselves through submission.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Breast Stimulation Orgasms

January 23, 2015 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

Breast stimulation orgasm with Ambre Jade I have always had incredibly sensitive breasts. They really are one of my favourite parts of my body, just followed by my ass, which is delicious. But I digress. Last week, my lover and I were just laying in my bed. I was recovering from my honest to goodness, 8th orgasm within the past 5 minutes. He hadn’t cum yet. He likes to take his time. He worships at my alter and I feed him from my cup. Anyway, so the two of us laying in my bed, I am taking a short break. His hands begin to roughly caress my breast, playing with my right one lightly. Teasing my nipple and occasionally laying his lips or running his tongue over my breast.

As previously mentioned, I have incredibly sensitive nipples. When they are touched, my body responds delightfully. My inside get all turned up, swelling and moistening to the point where my nectar drips from me. Perhaps being so sensitive is what made what happened next possible. Perhaps my natural predisposition to orgasm easily or the sensitivity of my nerve endings caused the flow of pleasure that rocked through me following such stimulation. This was a new experience for me. From what I understand not a common occurrence.

The spontaneous orgasm that rocked through me was intense. More from surprise and awe at the event than the actual intensity. All things being equal it was not an immensely powerful orgasm. It did not make my toes curl or allow my body a more overwhelming sensation beyond shock. I had never cum like that before, the lack of clitoral or g-spot stimulation resulting in an orgasm is something you hear about, like an urban legend or the holy grail. I am not sure that the experience could be repeated.

So how did this happen? How could someone cum through breast stimulation alone? Perhaps it is my dedication to Kegel exercises and g-spot training that allowed such a surprisingly delightful release to happen. As my breasts are stimulated, I have a tendency to tighten my perineum. This sometimes rubs against my g-spot, stimulating it ever so slightly. I believe it came to a climax (pun totally intended). That my g-spot orgasmed through unintentional tightening of my muscles, constricting and pulsing and causing the orgasm.

All this to say, more research is necessary and see if we can repeat it. To harness the ability to cum through breast stimulation.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Squirting is banned?

December 9, 2014 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought4 Comments

It has taken me over a week to regain enough composure to address the recent banning of certain acts in UK created pornography. I understand that it will have little to no effect on me directly but it affects all WOMEN. These acts seem to be an attempt to minimised women in roles of power! Women are powerful but now our recorded representations of power are being attacked. Yes, I see it as an attack. I will write more about that shortly but I would like to specifically address female ejaculation being banned! Squirting as a woman is not acceptable in UK porn now but a man or even several men can cum on my face. Now where the fuck is the common sense here?

Some personal perspective. Since this is a personal discussion and I am a pretty open woman, let’s talk about my own personal history with squirting. This is meant as a window into my personal life and do NOT objectify my experience by turning it overly sexual. The context is merely to show you my own struggles and trials with acceptance and self worth.

My first squirting orgasm occurred in my youth, rather early in my sexual experiences. Very early. So early that I will not share the age but you get the idea. This particular man with whom I will enjoying a good old fashioned moment of fingering (a delightfully underutilized activity) and as I approached my moment of orgasm, I squirted. The pleasure of the moment was just so amazing. I still remember that moment of complete pleasure waving over me. The moment lasted less than a second, at which point my almost surreal pleasure was shaken stolen from me but shrieks of pure laughter. I get it, he was young, I was young. This was a first experience for us both and since squirting is not necessarily something you would find in your standard sex act adolescent handbook, the response was, for him, to react like it was a comedy. I was hurt. I spent a very large amount of time trying not to orgasm unless I was by myself because of that reaction. I got over it and am aware that it was merely a childish response to a very grown woman physical response.

Squirting is a very natural act. It should be celebrated and enjoyed by all parties involved. Since my youthful experiences, I have embraced and even rejoiced in the glory of orgasming so hard that my body send forth ejaculate! It is a beautiful thing. My lovers enjoy it so much, I cannot even begin to give it words. I have come a long way in accepting my body’s fluids and responses to stimuli. When I first read about the UK ban, those first thoughts, that laughter from my youth rang in my ears. Feelings of shame, embarrassment and just not understanding all came flooding back (pun totally intended). Why is it that male ejaculate, something I associate with both violence and degradation can be considered acceptable but its feminine counterpart, its absolute representation of female pleasure be considered so vile that laws must be made about it? How can a physical representation of my feminine pleasure be considered obscene?

This is a feminist issue. This is women being told to what extent we can enjoy our pleasure. No one has a right to take that away! If a man can cum on my face, I can damn well cum on yours.

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Abuse of Power, Consent and Other Important Distinctions

November 6, 2014 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought4 Comments

So it is my turn to write a Jian Ghomeshi post. Well not really! I am not following it as closely as I could be, I am not him or any of the women who have come forward about their experiences with him. When I read this article several thoughts passed through my mind. One of which was, so did he believe his own shit? When the CBC initially fired him, and he released the following announcement on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jianghomeshi/posts/10152357063881750. I was initially disgusted by the actions of the CBC. A person’s relationship dynamic is no business of anyone except those within the relationship. But now, with women coming forward and further accounts of his behaviour continuing to flood the media, I cannot help but retract my initial feelings. This man seems to have abused his power in a variety of ways.

As I mentioned earlier this is not a post about him or the circumstances surrounding what now seems to be his demise. When I read the earlier mentioned article my thought was; Did he believe he was merely living out his version of a D/s relationship? As I said, I have no idea, I am not involved in anyway but as a Domme I recognise how easily one can believe their own shit! Power exchange turning to an abuse of power is a very slippery slope. There are many gray areas! There are many circumstances and points of view. One person’s fantasy can be seen as another person’s assault. (We are leaving the Jian Ghomeshi portion of this talk now.)

pro1092314 With such a massive amount of gray, how can something that seems so clear, so black and white like assault be apparent? It seems that everyday I am reading posts or discussions about an abuse of power. So and so took advantage of me, and then the Dom refuting it. This sort of back and forth exchange. We have all seen them! I have no desire to get into specifics. This is the world of BDSM. We are sadists and masochists and all the colours in between. We like causing pain and we like receiving pain. No matter how Dominant you feel you are, no matter how sadistic, you would not walk up to a random stranger and give them a sound spanking. That would be assault. A fight could potentially break out. The lines of both the law and social context are clearly defined. Say you know this particular individual is a masochist. You have never met them before or maybe you have, maybe you have even done a scene or two with them. Walking up to them and slapping their face… Does that seem appropriate to you? You know they like, you like causing that pain that they enjoy. There is the potential for some serious enjoyment BUT the context in which you are playing this out in, not appropriate! What if, the last time you spoke with this individual, they expressed a desire for it to happen?

What if you know it is something they want? Is it appropriate to inflict pain when someone expresses a desire for such happenings? In my opinion, NO! It is not appropriate! They are not necessarily aware that you are going to provide them with their fantasy. They know it is something they desire but is it something they desire at any moment? Is it something they desire at this moment? Without a yes, it is assault! Without a clear definition of what is and is not something they want FROM YOU specifically, it is assault. And where consent can be given, it can also be removed. Without a clear in the moment yes, you might be over stepping your role. Yeah, I get it. You’re a big bad sadistic Dominant and should get whatever the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want it right? NO! Shut the fuck up and eat your humble pie. Imagine if Jian Ghomeshi had had a serving or two where his career would be right now?

One of the many reasons I adore contracts and interviewing people, is that informed consent is clearly defined. If it isn’t, I ask for clarification! Wanting clarification or a more detailed description does not make you less Dominant, it makes you more so. It shows that you can fulfill 2 fantasies simultaneously while respecting and even loving your submissive. Contracts and informed consent are not the sole responsibility of the Dominant. If you submissive fantasy could easily be interpreted in a different way, it is important that you are clear with your description. Communication before hand is key. In the moment, during a scene so many things can happen. It is entirely possible that you will have no physical ability to speak, so how will you say no? That is another discussion but you can see where it is leading.

OK when I am mentioning that it is everyone’s responsibility to make sure consent is clear, I am not and never will blame the victim. The submissive by definition is not in a position of power! There comes a point where they cannot say no even if they wanted to (if they are gagged or are just incapable of communicating their wants clearly). A true Dominant, a true human being will find a way to make sure consent is always there! They understand cues, changes a body language, a simple look in My puppy’s eyes and I know when it is time to slow down! As the Dominant you are taking responsibility for their well being. Make sure you know what lines to follow, what lines to slowly push back and what lines should never ever be crossed! I get it, your last sub loved when you fucked their ass so hard it bleed, but this is not your last sub, this is a completely different, unique individual. Eat your slice of humble pie. Make sure consent, informed consent is clear and given. There is only one way to know if something is consented to, you fucking ask!

End crazy rant 😉

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

Influencing Changes

October 25, 2014 by Ambre Jadein Domme Thought

In a few days, I will be leaving the apartment my son and I called home for the better part of 4 years. There is a certain amount of remorse, I am a creature of habit, and I do not always enjoy the things around me changing. But the time has come. My son is older now and my work has become far more hands on compared to the past. I need an office, a play space, somewhere I can easily shut the door and have no concerns about any ears listening in.

102514 This was the biggest factor in my decision to move, ok no, that is a lie. There are three children above me at the moment with a piano and a trampoline above my head. This was beginning to have serious consequences on my work as well as my general state of mind. So beyond the outside forces, the influencing drive to my finding us a new home came from my son now reaching the age where his own sexuality is broadening. He is still young and the physical act of sex is still many hopefully several years, hopefully a decade away. But this age, this coming into your own and discovering orgasms and sexuality is a massive thing. I do not want to influence any more than I already have. (If you think you have not shaped your child’s sexuality you are fooling yourself, we all leave a certain imprint.) This is the time when imprinting happens, you know, if you are just discovering how to cum and the first thing you cum to is something “deviant” chances are you will be “deviant” for the rest of your life. And that is fine, embrace it but I do not want my son’s deviance to come from something I said while not even speaking with him. Okay, I have no research to back up what I am saying, I am sure there is some out there somewhere. Probably easily accessible but I am not here to write a paper on sexuality. I am here to share my views, thoughts and ideas. So that is what I am doing!

As a sex worker, I appreciate the various nuances to people’s sexuality. I think individuals feel more at ease sharing that side of them when they are paying for time. It also gives them the chance to experiment with an aspect of their sexuality to see if it works for them. As a sex worker, I encourage you to bring forth those deep, dark desires. To share with me something you might not necessarily want to share in your vanilla or everyday life. I believe all our sexual fantasies and desires should be celebrated in a healthy way. Of course, this is when everything is sane, safe and consensual! The wonderful thing about phone sex, is that sane, safe and consensual is already a given. If you are paying someone to listen and play into your fantasy those factors are already there. I have done a variety of non-consensual consensual scenes. This is usually met with a deep appreciation at the ability to play the role out, but I digress as I usually do. As a sex worker, I love the twisted, fucked up fantasies people have. The more twisted, the more unusual, the more amusing.

As a parent though, I do not want my child to have to seek out a sex worker because there is a side to him he does not feel he can share with the world. Pretty deep right? All I wanted to say was I needed an office but this is my reasoning behind it. I could easily work from my bedroom, living room, kitchen, hell I can work from my bathtub if I wanted to. But ears are for listening and a home with only two people in it means there is potential for shit to be over heard. I take a massive amount of precaution, don’t misunderstand me. I keep my child safe and unexposed to the world I work in but having a safe space for me to work, knowing that I will never be interrupted or overheard. Somewhere that I do not have to clear my browser history or shut my computer down is so relieving. I want my child safe and free from this side of my life but it is a HUGE part of life now. I spend more time writing hypnosis sessions or talking on the phone than I do anything else. (yeah I am exaggerating) So why would I not want a space where I can perform freely. Where I can live without fear of influencing his sexual awakening.

It’s not shame that keeps my work hidden. In fact, it is quite well known without detailing, the facts of my current way of earning money. We live in a household where honesty is critical and full disclosure is sometimes a must. But my unapologetic attitude toward my work as a sex worker and healthy discussions about sexuality does not free him from inadvertent influence. So the creation of an environment where he can be separated from my professional self, is crucial to his development as a sexual being.

We shape our children’s sexuality. This is going to happen but my goal as a sex worker, as a mother is to make it a conscious influence. To talk in a positive way, an affirming way about sex. To focus on minimising shame but also minimise what I might be causing in the future. To keep my role to a minimum in terms of his sexual development and allow these sensations to come about naturally without scolding or encouraging. To be there when questions are raised and to answer them in a truthful, clear, age appropriate manner. What more could any parent want?

À bientôt,

Ambre Jade

My original goal in this post was to discuss the fact that I was moving. The sexual discussing kind of took off while I was writing. I do not normal like to associate my work with my family but the self reflective kind of discussion became something I wanted to share!