How should you go about establishing a connection with a Domme? I often write about the importance of the connection between Goddess and subject. This is an important aspect of your submission that can be overlooked by shiny objects (pictures) and the like. A focus on the physical to create that connection can often lead to a short term submission. Sometimes, that is what you want. A Domme for the moment as opposed to a Domme for your life. I don’t mind the drive by subjects, the ones just looking for a momentary distraction from their vanilla life or a part time replacement for their regular Goddess when She is not available. There is nothing wrong with your erotic self being secondary to other things, so long as you are honest with both yourself and your Goddess.
Say you want to establish a lasting connection. Something worth more than buying time or files. Something that will be lasting and create a bond between you and your desired Goddess. How will you go about it?
It seems obvious to say contact Her, but that contact has a price, one you should be willing to pay. If you are not willing to pay it, or have experienced a history of bad connections and have since become more frivolous with your money, know that paying to contact is not an option. Find ways around it. This does not mean contact Her and say something ridiculous like “just want to know what you would do?” Shit like that makes Us Dommes cringe and block you. We don’t have time to deal with that type of stuff. People contact us on a daily basis with similar requests and it is too complicated to try and weed out those that are actually looking for a connection and those that just want to get off. (There are more rants to this effect but you know what I mean)
So here is a short list of ways to establish an initial connection with your chosen Goddess:
- Tribute and Buy Time, even with the previous paragraph in mind, paying for time, sending a tribute or gift is still the BEST way to connect. This shows the Domme you are serious about wanting to establish a connection and that you are aware Her time is money. Even if it is just getting to know Her with simple questions. We get asked these questions a lot.
- READ, most of Us have blogs, read them. Connect with Her words and not Her images. See where She stands on fetishes that are important to you. Find out what is important to Her.
- Check out Her wishlist. With the right mind, you can look through a wishlist to get to know who She is and what She likes. Buy Her something while you are there. Check out if there are multiple lists, not just the one main one.
- Follow Her on social media. Some Dommes ask for a tribute for this privilege, it is a privilege not a right. When you follow, We get notifications, every interaction helps boost Us. So follow, share, comment (respectfully). (*** Quick note about Facebook, for Me, I usually ignore friend requests without prior interaction but you can follow Me and/or follow My pages’ feeds.)
- Sing Her praises when free content is released. Share it on your social media platforms. Comment on posts or videos. Make it so She recognises you, your name, your username, etc.
- Send an email to say you have been checking Her stuff out. An email. Not an IM. And do so without the promise of a reply. Do it because you are impressed with who She is not because you want Her to reply. If She does, bonus, if She doesn’t who cares, that was never the goal.
Establishing a connection is important. Trust is important. These tips could help you establish a deep connection, or at least realise ways to serve Her better.
À bientôt,
Goddess Ambre Jade
888-726-2447
For those of you who are not au currant, My broken ankle and subsequent DVT have kind of been kicking My ass. More the medication than the injury and illness itself but kicking My ass none the less. So I have been taking things easy for a little bit. Fucked My summer plans up quite a bit, but what can you do?
Femdom Manners Checklist:
Total control is a surprisingly subjective concept. For each Domme and each sub, the idea of what constitutes total control varies. One would assume it would be obvious. your Domme controls every action, every thought, every moment of your life. This is a valid definition and idea but how is that represented in a practical sense? For those who are not live in slaves, those who decide that a long distance relationship is more practical or those who have financial dealings with their Dommes, the idea of total control is a little more difficult to define and for some, even to perceive.
A huge fantasy
Think about it. I have never met you before. I have never had any form of interaction with you before but already you call Me Mistress. It diminishes the significance of titles in BDSM when you use it so freely. Some people are programmed that way. They automatically feel that a Woman should be referred to as Mistress, or Goddess or Lord, etc. I by no means, think you should stop this behaviour. If you feel it is right for you to use that title then by all means. But titles in BDSM should have a deeper significance. A more personalised touch when referring to someone with a title.